by 

M. McHugh, New York

“If a girl’s apron takes fire in front it is a sign of marriage. Fire on the side or the back is a sign of misfortune” 

A cottage. Girl stands in front of fire. 

MOTHER  You’re standing awful close there to the fire.

GIRL         Am I? I’m not, surely. 

GIRL moves closer to the fire. 

MOTHER  Ah you are now, you’ll catch fire altogether. 

GIRL         Sure, I won’t at all. 

GIRL moves closer to fire again. Catches on fire. 

GIRL          Oh my apron’s on fire! It’s on fire! 

MOTHER   Jesus above, isn’t that a sign of marriage. 

GIRL           Tis! Tis! Indeed! 

OLD AUNT IN THE CORNER  Looks like your apron is on backwards. 

GIRL           Is it? 

MOTHER    Oh misfortunes, misfortunes! That’s a sign of misfortunes! 

GIRL           Misfortune!

OLD AUNT IN THE CORNER  Indeed! Sure you’re on fire!

END PLAY